This weekend, March 31--April 1, Lunch with a Sociopath will be available to download for free at Amazon.com.
http://www.amazon.com/Lunch-with-a-Sociopath-ebook/dp/B0078HLEF8
http://www.amazon.com/Lunch-with-a-Sociopath-ebook/dp/B0078HLEF8
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Six Weeks
It has been six weeks since the release of Lunch with a Sociopath, and I am pleased that over 350 readers in the US and UK have downloaded my book. Some have contacted me with thier own struggles with abuse or other issues, and I am happy that my book has been a vehicle for others to share thier feelings with me and, hopefully, thier loved ones. This is what I had hoped for and kept in mind when the writing process just seemed too dark.
Thank you, readers, for your e-mails and reviews and comments and facebook messages. They mean the world to me. The darkness was worth struggling through because of you.
Thank you, readers, for your e-mails and reviews and comments and facebook messages. They mean the world to me. The darkness was worth struggling through because of you.
Why Self-publish?
I've been asked several times why I decided to self-publish Lunch with a Sociopath on Amazon.com rather than go the traditional publishing route. The answer is two-fold.
First, I am a nobody. Nobodies don't get published unless they have connections in the publishing field which I don't. It's kind of hard to make those connections when you live in out of the way places instead of....let's say New York City where there exists a plethora of major publishing houses. Many websites for publishers do not take unsolicited manuscripts so the chances that anyone will ever read an unpublished work by an unknown author are slim to none. If I were a famous "nobody" like Paris Hilton who makes her fortune and fame by being a witless party girl, then maybe I'd have a chance...but I'm glad I'm not her or anything remotely like her. I think that would be a bleak existence.
Secondly, have you noticed how much bad material comes out of a proper publishing house? It doesn't matter if someone can write. It matters if they have the afforementioned connections or fame. If Joan Rivers can get a book published, God help us all, because she doesn't really have anything of worth to say in my opinion. So good books get overlooked daily in the quest for money--either with already established authors or celebrities. I struggled with the decision to self-publish. I thought that if I didn't have a "real" publisher, then my book was worthless. After checking in to some companies and submitting a few query letters, I decided that the process was just too lengthy for this particular book. I just wanted to be done with this book and have it out of my mind as it has taken a huge emotional toll on me. When one submits to a publisher, often that publisher does not allow multiple submissions or requires exclusive reading rights to your work. What this means is that if you send in a manuscript, you can only send it to one publisher. They may take up to six months to read your work during which time you cannot submit to any other publishing house. Then after six months, you will receive a kindly rejection letter to go along with the sinking feeling that you've wasted six months of your life. I didn't want to wait around for years and have my walls papered with rejection slips....not on this book anyway. This one just needed to be out there. It needed to be out of my hands for me but for others as well who might be going through the same type of trauma.....but, really, it was a selfish decision in the end borne of my impatience to just be able to move on.
First, I am a nobody. Nobodies don't get published unless they have connections in the publishing field which I don't. It's kind of hard to make those connections when you live in out of the way places instead of....let's say New York City where there exists a plethora of major publishing houses. Many websites for publishers do not take unsolicited manuscripts so the chances that anyone will ever read an unpublished work by an unknown author are slim to none. If I were a famous "nobody" like Paris Hilton who makes her fortune and fame by being a witless party girl, then maybe I'd have a chance...but I'm glad I'm not her or anything remotely like her. I think that would be a bleak existence.
Secondly, have you noticed how much bad material comes out of a proper publishing house? It doesn't matter if someone can write. It matters if they have the afforementioned connections or fame. If Joan Rivers can get a book published, God help us all, because she doesn't really have anything of worth to say in my opinion. So good books get overlooked daily in the quest for money--either with already established authors or celebrities. I struggled with the decision to self-publish. I thought that if I didn't have a "real" publisher, then my book was worthless. After checking in to some companies and submitting a few query letters, I decided that the process was just too lengthy for this particular book. I just wanted to be done with this book and have it out of my mind as it has taken a huge emotional toll on me. When one submits to a publisher, often that publisher does not allow multiple submissions or requires exclusive reading rights to your work. What this means is that if you send in a manuscript, you can only send it to one publisher. They may take up to six months to read your work during which time you cannot submit to any other publishing house. Then after six months, you will receive a kindly rejection letter to go along with the sinking feeling that you've wasted six months of your life. I didn't want to wait around for years and have my walls papered with rejection slips....not on this book anyway. This one just needed to be out there. It needed to be out of my hands for me but for others as well who might be going through the same type of trauma.....but, really, it was a selfish decision in the end borne of my impatience to just be able to move on.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
First Review is out!!!
5.0 out of 5 stars A Fascinating and Compelling Look into a Soul Overflowing With Pain, February 20, 2012
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Lunch with a Sociopath (Kindle Edition)
This is not the kind of book anyone would enjoy, but it isn't meant to be. However, Ms. Pawlak is a fantastic writer who is amazingly able to put very difficult feelings and thoughts into words. She is incredibly candid. I read this book in three days because I couldn't put it down. When I wasn't reading it, I was thinking about it. I lost sleep over it. This book's intended purpose is to help those people who are suffering or have suffered spiritual abuse and will fulfill it very well. I also believe that it will help the friends and loved ones of these victims, not because it can tell them how to help, but because it will allow them to see inside the mind and soul of someone who is enduring this kind of trauma and will help them to understand what is happening--it did for me. At some point, if she is able, Ms. Pawlak should look for more opportunities to raise awareness of this problem.Some of the proceeds of this book will be donated to Wellspring Retreat and Resource Center, a clinic that specializes in helping victims of spiritual abuse.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Available on Amazon.com
Because of my agreement with Kindle publilshing, I can no longer post chapters of Lunch with a Sociopath online. Follow the link below to read more.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0078HLEF8
If you don't have a Kindle, that's okay. You can download free reading apps at:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/
http://www.amazon.com/dp/
If you don't have a Kindle, that's okay. You can download free reading apps at:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Just Cause
Below is a link to my cause which helps raise awareness about the effects of thought reform. Any donations go directly to Wellspring Retreat and Resource Center in Albany, Ohio.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Victims-of-Thought-Reform-and-Coercive-or-Abusive-GroupsRelationships/199825176699233
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Victims-of-Thought-Reform-and-Coercive-or-Abusive-GroupsRelationships/199825176699233
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Impatience
Impatience...it should've been my middle name. I am anxious to share more with you, and I hope you'll keep checking back, but there is a reason I am pacing these posts. First because I chose March 3rd as our official date to publish via Amazon Kindle. Second because I am tying up loose ends. I would really love to just finish with it and be done.
It took me almost two years to write this book although the actual time spent writing was drastically less. I wrote for a couple of hours two days a week often making up excuses to not write and avoid it all together. I pushed through because I felt maybe my story would one day help someone and because I thought it would be healing for me.
I was wrong. It wasn't healing at all. In fact, it was nightmarish. Even now when I do something as seemingly benign as reformatting this book, I begin to have insomnia and, when I do sleep, I have nightmares. It that old post-traumatic stress disorder rearing its ugly head.
Soldiers are not the only ones who suffer from PTSD. Battered women, survivors of plane crashes or natural disasters, or victims of mind control suffer as well. Anyone who suffers a trauma in which they feel their lives are in danger can develop PTSD. It is a condition that is little talked about because you cannot see the scars and you cannot hear the silent screams. The National Institute of Mental Health has a link ( http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/what-is-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-or-ptsd.shtml ) that gives an overview of PTSD, the symptoms, and ways to help yourself or a loved one.
Recently the diagnosis of CPTSD or complex post-traumatic stress disorder has been given to victims of thought reform/mind control. This would apply to survivors coming from large groups (think Unification Church--the Moonies), smaller groups ( Heaven's Gate--39 members), or one-on-one cultic relationships (like me). It's not only religious weirdos who prey upon the universal vulnerabilities of humans. Cults can be political or psychological or scientific. There have been beauty salon cults and horse cults and art cults. If you are live and breathing....there is a cult for you, but I pray you never find it.
Cult members are not crazy or mentally unstable or stupid. On the contrary they are usually the "cream of the crop". They generally are intelligent and gifted in some way. It wouldn't make sense for a cult leader to recruit someone who wasn't. How do you exploit a mentally ill person? You would end up taking care of them when you really want them to serve your needs. Also, as a cult leader you would need thier specific gifts to further your cause. Need help with money problems? Recruit someone who has a knack for numbers and money. Then they can help you cook the books. Need help with your cult literature? Recruit someone who is gifted in writing. Then they can help you put a new spin on your lies. No one is immune to recruitment...because it happens so slowly, so masterfully, that you don't even know it's happening. I spent a long time thinking I was stupid and that I was to blame for my experience with the priest. A long, long time. But it is simply not the case.
So, beloved reader, please embrace that characteristic which I lack which calls itself patience. I plan to post Chapter 3 next week.
It took me almost two years to write this book although the actual time spent writing was drastically less. I wrote for a couple of hours two days a week often making up excuses to not write and avoid it all together. I pushed through because I felt maybe my story would one day help someone and because I thought it would be healing for me.
I was wrong. It wasn't healing at all. In fact, it was nightmarish. Even now when I do something as seemingly benign as reformatting this book, I begin to have insomnia and, when I do sleep, I have nightmares. It that old post-traumatic stress disorder rearing its ugly head.
Soldiers are not the only ones who suffer from PTSD. Battered women, survivors of plane crashes or natural disasters, or victims of mind control suffer as well. Anyone who suffers a trauma in which they feel their lives are in danger can develop PTSD. It is a condition that is little talked about because you cannot see the scars and you cannot hear the silent screams. The National Institute of Mental Health has a link ( http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/what-is-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-or-ptsd.shtml ) that gives an overview of PTSD, the symptoms, and ways to help yourself or a loved one.
Recently the diagnosis of CPTSD or complex post-traumatic stress disorder has been given to victims of thought reform/mind control. This would apply to survivors coming from large groups (think Unification Church--the Moonies), smaller groups ( Heaven's Gate--39 members), or one-on-one cultic relationships (like me). It's not only religious weirdos who prey upon the universal vulnerabilities of humans. Cults can be political or psychological or scientific. There have been beauty salon cults and horse cults and art cults. If you are live and breathing....there is a cult for you, but I pray you never find it.
Cult members are not crazy or mentally unstable or stupid. On the contrary they are usually the "cream of the crop". They generally are intelligent and gifted in some way. It wouldn't make sense for a cult leader to recruit someone who wasn't. How do you exploit a mentally ill person? You would end up taking care of them when you really want them to serve your needs. Also, as a cult leader you would need thier specific gifts to further your cause. Need help with money problems? Recruit someone who has a knack for numbers and money. Then they can help you cook the books. Need help with your cult literature? Recruit someone who is gifted in writing. Then they can help you put a new spin on your lies. No one is immune to recruitment...because it happens so slowly, so masterfully, that you don't even know it's happening. I spent a long time thinking I was stupid and that I was to blame for my experience with the priest. A long, long time. But it is simply not the case.
So, beloved reader, please embrace that characteristic which I lack which calls itself patience. I plan to post Chapter 3 next week.
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